When Josue Infante told his parents he was gay, his distraught father rushed him off to church so a priest could pray over him.
Jessie Brockman switched from a private to public high school because students and teachers were homophobic when word spread that she was a lesbian.
Although New York City is considered one of the most gay-friendly cities in the nation, gay teens here say it's still tough to come out and be themselves.
"I was definitely bullied, talked about, made fun of," said Brockman, 19, of the West Village. "People would write stuff on bathroom walls. I've had people write about me on Facebook."
The recent suicide of Tyler Clementi - the 18-year-old Rutgers student whose gay rendezvous was streamed live on the Internet by his roommate - shed light on how difficult growing up gay still is.
The tragedy prompted celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres and "Project Runway" star Tim Gunn to join the "It Gets Better" video campaign encouraging gay youth struggling with their sexuality.
Clementi's death, as well as the suicides of several other teens in the last month, also put local educators on high alert.
Schools Chancellor Joel Klein, for example, reminded staff of resources available through the Respect for All initiative.
And Friday, cops arrested Bronx gang members for sodomizing and torturing three gay men, including two 17-year-olds.
Thomas Krever, who has worked with thousands of gay kids through The Hetrick-Martin Institute, said young people are coming out at a younger and younger age - which is celebrated in some places but reviled in others.
"In far too many communities, that is met with bias, bullyism, stigma and mental harassment, as we've witnessed with six suicides in the last month or so," said Krever, the institute's executive director.
With the national average for coming out dropping from 19 a decade ago to 14, some gay teens aren't planning for their safety and don't always have skilled adults to help them.
The Internet has also changed the landscape dramatically. While it links teens who might otherwise feel "alone, depressed and isolated," it's also led to painful cyberbullying.
"It's a vastly different world that this new generation is in," Krever said. "I would not say that it's gotten better. ... Challenges remain as serious but perhaps different than the generations before them."
Still, New York offers more resources than many other cities. Harvey Milk High School was developed 20 years ago to serve gay teens who felt threatened at other schools. And Hetrick-Martin offers after school programs and other resources used by several thousand gay teens from five states.
Infante, 20, of Bedford-Stuyvesant, became depressed and thought of suicide after coming out to his parents three years ago.
"My dad got really angry," said Infante. "My dad started to cry. ... He took me to a priest. We held hands, we were praying."
His father even wanted to ship him off to the Dominican Republic, and his mother continued to spew hatred.
"She even said, 'If you get AIDS, nobody is going to visit you in the hospital,'" he recalled.
Despite discouraging stories like Infante's, openly gay New York University student Kevin Strinweis, 21, still believes the city is accepting of his lifestyle.
"I think that's one of the reasons so many young people come to New York to find an accepting community and explore their sexuality," said Strinweis, originally from Smithtown, L.I. "It was definitely easier to come out in New York City than in Long Island."
With T.J. Raphael
Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2010/10/10/2010-10-10_a_bullys_prey__prayed_over_its_hard_for_kids_to_come_out__even_in_gayfriendly_ci.html#ixzz12idtJBi7
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